And so, we just had Valentine's Day yesterday. How timely for a blog entry on love!
Walking along Orchard Road felt somewhat stranger than usual. The whole stretch was crowded with people(and may I emphasize, ladies with roses in their bags and cuddling stuffed toys). Walking amidst them with a textbook in my hands felt out of place. My day was spent doing math practice and meeting up with a girlfriend. In my own words, it was just another ordinary weekend.
I do admit, I have this skeptical thinking when it comes to Valentine's Day. The overwhelming or overplayed atmosphere, factoring in the 'commercialisation' of all-things lavish and perfect has got me thinking. Expensive dinners, being presented with a bouquet of flowers and an exhange of valentine's present is EXPECTED. It acts as a sort of checklist for the ladies to gauge if their other halves love them.
Then, why do people go on the search looking for that special someone-unrelated at first, yet they all in love and spend the rest of their lives happily together. It's human nature, I guess. We were made to interact with other people and establish some sort of personal relationship with them. This is where the expressing of love, jealousy and arguments settle in.
As we know, differentiating, where communcation is starkly marked by overt conflict, is common in couples. How then, would we resolve these differences? Mutual give and take, perhaps? Now, if only things were THAT EASY. Boo hoo.
As the common folk saying goes, the power of love changes someone. In our hopes of searching for that perfect someone we have in our subconscious minds, we wish that person to cater to us and vice versa. Isn't loving someone about giving and taking and changing for the better? Surely, we do know what we want our other halves to be. May I say, it was sort of ingrained in us since young.
Parents would advise their children on the 'correct type' of people to look out for when choosing a partner, whether that person is compatible in terms of education, personality and maybe to a certain degree of looks. Sadly, this has become what many parents of today set their standards on their children's future partners on.
You see, people have the tendency to fall in love with someone whom they associate with their parents (I read this from Mind your body in the Straits Times this week. Very interesting and something new to me). Same angular facial features, about the same height and heck, even the resemblance in personality. Oh and let us be honest about this, money does matter in interpersonal relationships(on closer development, the status factor might come into play).
Simply put, Valentine's Day is the day when couples put their differences aside, show the other party how they feel towards each other and spend the day fruitfully when they are not able to do so on normal occasions. Valentine's Day, as the definition states, a day for the exchange of tokens of affection. So it doesn't seem wrong afterall, for ladies to expect gifts from the gentlemen on this so-called romantic day.
Seriously? $$$ plays a part?
ReplyDeleteHahaha.. I geddit lar..
Eventually girls want a guy thats able to take care of her and her children. I totally get that.
As for the commercialisation of "Days", its inevitable in our era whereby $$ makes the world go round. Even your birthday is somewhat commercialised! The cake and presents arent gonna shape themselves right?
Heh... I'm more than a skeptic, when it comes to V-day. It's similarity, in some sense. I spent 4 years in an all-boys Catholic school. Most... Well.. In fact, every V-day I tend to stay at home with my family, it's a quiet affair, close to the heart. After all, what better things to do than to spend time with your most loved ones on V-day, right? Well.. It might not be true for other guys, but for me, I think family takes much more precedence, over anything else.
ReplyDeleteYes, I highlighted 'moolah' in red, because I think that V-day is overly commercialised, to the point that a sacred day dedicated to spending time with loved ones, now revolves around spending money 'to show how much they love you'. Everyone else is doing it anyway. Totally defeats the purpose of it being a special day, no?
Oh, and, I read that report on the newspapers too, and I think that it is true to some extent. :)
ORCHARD ROAD WAS SO CROWDED!! Well, it could be Valentine's Day everyday! Anyway i think people find each other because theres this need of completion (or maybe just boredom) but Love should be that way. I do not think we base our expections like our parents though! Not saying that our parents have bad qualities but i think we would like to find somebody with new qualities with our own judgement. However that being said, we often find our spouses with similiar social backgrounds which corresponds to our parents. As for advice, you'll be living with her your entire life, not ur parents. :)
ReplyDeleteThank God I'm not at Orchard Road that day! LoL! Because I don't have roses or even a present for Valentine! LoL! Not that my bf was not around to celebrate with me, it's simply because he didnt expect me to buy anything for him so he never thought of getting any as well!
ReplyDeleteShould I dump him then? HAHAHA!!!
I think it's really just how one think of it. Both of us tried to make it different by saying more mushy things to each other and discussing on going places that we will seldom thought of going during the normal days, but in the end we still ended up doing the same things and joining FRIENDS for gathering.
To me it doesn't matter so long as we are together. =)
Just like what he said, "There is nothing to be happy about on Valentine's day actually. Everyday can be Valentine's day if we quarrel less & Love each other more" HAHA! For him this kind of guy, I think what he said here was enough to make my day.
Belated Valentine's day to you my girl!
Please help me comment my blog too! Thank You! =))
Cheeros,
Shi Wen
this will probably be a turnoff judging from the comments and the post.
ReplyDeletewhen i'm out on valentine's or any other holiday, i'm always on the lookout for what kind of gimmicks that some creative entrepreneurs may come up with.
not to ridicule at it but rather, maybe there'll really be something nice to try out.
with my boyfriend.
as for the parental attraction. doesn't it disturb or perturb some of you who might think that other half has parental features. well i think this theory has been prevalent since the start of time and to a certain extent it might be true considering the similarities in personalities, features, dress sense of certain couples.
so hui shan, next time when you're choosing a guy. think if he reminds you of your dad.
You know the cliche that if you're really in love, everyday's a Valentine's Day? Well, I think the Dr Jekyll in me says that I shd not bow before the commercialism of the era and celebrate V-Day like the herd... but to be honest, there's also the Mr Hyde in me that simply is trying to get away with having to put in effort to show that special someone how much I still care for her.
ReplyDeleteI think, at the end of the day, its really up to you what you make of the day. Some will celebrate on that day and that day only, others disregard the day and make everyday a Valentines. The rest of us just fall somewhere in the middle, making sense of our reltionship as best we can.
I will never head down to town on festive or special occasions. Only do so when there are the least number of people around.
ReplyDeleteWell, guess that qualifies me as a hikikomori, aka 宅男.
Anyway! Like you said, 'commercialization' made the entire idea of V'day feel 'overplayed'. but I have always wondered about whether these couples ever thought the 'special' things they are doing with each other, are in fact very much common (since almost every other couple is doing it as well. And on the same day!!).
OK, I've lost even myself now.
About your other half resembling your parents in different aspects, that's rather interesting, and scary, at the same time.
Just imagine (for guys) seeing the image of your father every time you look into your girlfriend's eyes. And the same for girls.
*shudder*
And yeah, I once came across these funny videos on tips to 'hook up' with someone of the opposite gender (of course). The last tip they offered for guys was to make sure "you go smelling like her Good Ol'Dad."
Yoohoooooooo!! :)
ReplyDeleteI thought the idea of finding someone who resembles their parents a little "off", however, I must agree that people actually do so!
For instance, people normally say that the mum(s) will dote more on their son(s) and dad(s) will dote more on their daughter(s). So, I guess when the sons and daughters go around searching for their other halves, it's natural for them to wanna find someone who can love them like their parents, that is, unconditionally. Hmm, I'm not exactly sure how accurately this "concept" of mine may apply to the rest, but, it does apply to me "sub-consciously" i would say? Hahaha..
Oh well, it's up to the individual eventually isn't it? Hope that I'm making some sense here. :x
Nice post I must say! :D
who was da fool who said that we should deliberately take out one day in a year to play out our fantasies on romance? i say romance should be on all day everyday! maybe v day becomes a little misrepresented after all that commercialisation. what was meant for a day of love... not just between a couple but friends and family too... now has alienated the singles and subjected them to relative self-pity. btw it is a pretty chilling fact to know ur other half is gonna be like your parents :P
ReplyDelete