My homies

Hello there!

Here are some pictures to 'jumpstart' this entry on group communication. What better way to show than photos with my friends:)

My closest bunch in Ngee Ann poly. We were at Island Creamery after the Graduation Photo Shoot. Enjoying our get-together after-school sessions...like we always do.

With my teammates from NZ, Aust, South Africa on the 1 month Taiwan trip in Dec 2008

The Mauritian darlings, whom I built good friendships with in Taiwan.

Ok, now for the serious stuff.

Here is a brief overview: Our tendency to form groups is a pervasive aspect of organisational life. As well as formal groups, committees and teams, there are informal groups, cliques and cabals. So now, I'll touch on group communication in a clique(something more personal for us to relate la).

It's innate in us to identify ourselves with a particular group-think mod, edgy, the hippies, the athletics and the geek chics. Even from kindergarten, we see young children being in different cliques. And of course, communicating in their own little 'lingo' that no one else understand but themselves. Being in a group provides that sense of belonging, identity, a haven for one to seek advice, divulge secrets, plan work together. There's so many possibilities and benefits of being in a group(or in the case of the extreme, not too beneficial). Overall, group communication is essential in life-to get work done, to make friends, for socialisation.

Let me share a personal example of group communication that has lost its 'vitality'.

That is, 'phasing out with my secondary school clique'. In case you're thinking we do not hang out anymore, we actually still meet up on birthdays and special occasions like christmas(they celebrated my birthday last year and gave a surprise treat). As taught in class, I consider myself a marginal member. Not that we don't find enjoyment in each other's company, it's just that along the way after secondary school life, we made new cliques and the attachment we had back then became less significant. A weak attachment, bluntly speaking. It's hi, bye after each meeting and we go back to our own poly and jc cliques.

Then, let's sidetrack back to our hang-out cliques. It all starts with getting to know each other, then self-disclosure(recap of interpersonal communication). For me, the friends I hang out with are my pillars of strength, influence, comfort and happiness. We do think alike and analyse towards the same perspective(you could say we have the same behavioural standards after a long time together).Even our criticisms and style of doing things are almost the same. Interesting, but scary though! Hurhur.

Though group communication may seem hard to achieve(hey group communication is the root of miscommunication amplified as compared to interpersonal ones), it actually shows how well we interact with the different parties and understand them. Basically, it shows the closeness of the group. Once group communication shows signs of flaws, then you'll know it's unsuccessful.

As what Franklin Roosevelt said, " Be sincere, be brief, be seated." Now, that's what I call good group communication. How about you?

Say it with Love!

And so, we just had Valentine's Day yesterday. How timely for a blog entry on love!

Walking along Orchard Road felt somewhat stranger than usual. The whole stretch was crowded with people(and may I emphasize, ladies with roses in their bags and cuddling stuffed toys). Walking amidst them with a textbook in my hands felt out of place. My day was spent doing math practice and meeting up with a girlfriend. In my own words, it was just another ordinary weekend.

I do admit, I have this skeptical thinking when it comes to Valentine's Day. The overwhelming or overplayed atmosphere, factoring in the 'commercialisation' of all-things lavish and perfect has got me thinking. Expensive dinners, being presented with a bouquet of flowers and an exhange of valentine's present is EXPECTED. It acts as a sort of checklist for the ladies to gauge if their other halves love them.

Then, why do people go on the search looking for that special someone-unrelated at first, yet they all in love and spend the rest of their lives happily together. It's human nature, I guess. We were made to interact with other people and establish some sort of personal relationship with them. This is where the expressing of love, jealousy and arguments settle in.

As we know, differentiating, where communcation is starkly marked by overt conflict, is common in couples. How then, would we resolve these differences? Mutual give and take, perhaps? Now, if only things were THAT EASY. Boo hoo.

As the common folk saying goes, the power of love changes someone. In our hopes of searching for that perfect someone we have in our subconscious minds, we wish that person to cater to us and vice versa. Isn't loving someone about giving and taking and changing for the better? Surely, we do know what we want our other halves to be. May I say, it was sort of ingrained in us since young.

Parents would advise their children on the 'correct type' of people to look out for when choosing a partner, whether that person is compatible in terms of education, personality and maybe to a certain degree of looks. Sadly, this has become what many parents of today set their standards on their children's future partners on.

You see, people have the tendency to fall in love with someone whom they associate with their parents (I read this from Mind your body in the Straits Times this week. Very interesting and something new to me). Same angular facial features, about the same height and heck, even the resemblance in personality. Oh and let us be honest about this, money does matter in interpersonal relationships(on closer development, the status factor might come into play).

Simply put, Valentine's Day is the day when couples put their differences aside, show the other party how they feel towards each other and spend the day fruitfully when they are not able to do so on normal occasions. Valentine's Day, as the definition states, a day for the exchange of tokens of affection. So it doesn't seem wrong afterall, for ladies to expect gifts from the gentlemen on this so-called romantic day.

Hello all things good and bye bye to judgementalism!

P.S This video contains some foul language and very very humorous content.


For those who have not a hunch or inkling about what 'Little Britain' is all about, then I'll let you in on what it's actually about. As the name suggests, the comedy series was a concept by Matt Lucas and David Williams, who are also the main characters of the comedy, taking on different roles. Interestingly, it sketches the daily lives of the British and is presented to non-British in wicked humour. The series has been running for quite a few years(Seasons 1 to Little Britain USA-the latest of the sequel, which is one of the episodes as shown above).

What makes 'Little Britain' so addictive is its clever use of props-from the clothes, make-up, expressive faces(also forms of non-verbal communication). The episode also depicts how people picture transvestites as-wearing dresses, lacy ones in this case to behaving like a woman(the tonation of the voice eg. giggling like a woman). It then shows us how we react to these people whom we label based on our own judgement or the hear-says of others. In this case, it is acted by Matt Lucas, who is the police officer, as he gives Emily Howard doubtful glares and the 'I don't take you seriously' laidback attitude.

Usage of facial expressions weigh heavily in the 'Little Britain' series. Earlier, I mentioned about non-verbal communications. If you watched the video(which I presume you would have done so before even reading this), the way Emily Howard posed in front of the camera shows a typical, yet a little exaggerated, version of how transvestites should behave. In this case, the way he moved his body and made pouty lips is enough to make one go 'oh my goodness! super gay...!'

" I'm a lady, I do lady's things...," as abstarcted from the conversation between Emily Howard and the police officer, verbal communicators like these further amplify the effect of the 'gender-deficiency' Emily Howard portrays. Surely, expression or also a form of non-verbal communication is effective. But let's just admit it, verbal communication is and will always be, the main form of communication. This is to avoid any miscommunication which in turn, results in misrepresentation(eg. legal cases).

In all aspects, the video has very clear and expected visions of what transvestites should look, behave, dress etc. I'd like to say it touches on soft spots and makes us realize that whatever is being shown on screen is very much a true reflectio of ourselves(I'm not saying everyone agrees with me).

If you ask me, I am guilty of these, being judgemental based on a person's physical appearance and the body language I infer(or think means what I was accustomed to by the conversations of others). It is sad when we see someone who acts a little feminine then he should be and pass off rude remarks like 'Eyer...so sissy. Must be gay.'(But we argue that this is because men should be acting in all ways masculine) Ah... perception then comes in and we zoom in on his voice, his hairstyle, his dressing and even the bag he carries and how he walks. Just what is wrong with us?! Human nature and biasness, that's what it is.

I believe that perception can be changed, if only we were brought up to be less judgemental toward others and situations. So go on, be a good samaritan and start your day by being nice to everyone you see, even if the sight of the person makes you go 'Eeyer...'.(But don't pretend!)

Yeah right.

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